call me what you will as you please, but don't you ever fucking call me selfish. Selfish is abortion so you don't get fat, selfish is purposely breaking up a marriage to get some dick, selfish is EVERYTHING I am NOT.
I can't wait to see those bastards harping on my life FAIL. I am an angry person, I am NOT perfect. But I do know, I always get what I want. Not out of spite, not out of disrespect for myself or others, but because it makes me happy. and since I don't have human children, my happiness should always come first. I'm wiccian and I spirit keep. I strongly believe in the paranormal, tattoos, hot sex, and self happiness. If you cant be happy, then how can you live? You can't. That's just it. So hate all you want, but in the end, I will honestly be able to look you in the eye and say I'M HAPPY.
I could meet a complete stranger. That would say “penny for your thoughts” so I could just give him 10 dollars to sit down and shut up while I have a meltdown and get everything off of my chest. I really need about 3 hours with my counselor to just sit down and unload EVERYTHING. so i can get my head back on right. so i can stop being so upset. so i can figure out what is wrong with me. so things can go back to normal. you know. before depression hit full swing? Because sometimes. Even when I smile. It DOESN’T mean I’m happy. Cause really, I’m screaming inside like crazy breaking my nails off trying to get out of myself.
Just because I say “don’t do that” DOESN’T always mean DON’T DO THAT. Sometimes I say no because I want to see if you actually give a damn enough to fight me and do it anyway. Sometimes I just say it because I want to object. Sometimes I just say it to keep you wondering. But what’s the point if you can’t seem to see that?
And SGC if you could please quit trying to treat nathan like he’s in the fuckin army and leave him home long enough for me to at least have my pussy licked for about oh idk even 5 fuckin minutes is better than nothing that would be FUCKIN AWESOME. so PLEASE feel free to quit jerkin him around at min. wage and NOT putting out! SOMETHIN’S GOTTA FUCKIN GIVE!
and it felt so FUCKING GOOD.
I love you and I am in love with you is immense. right now. When I tell you I love you. I’m not lying. I’m telling the whole hearted truth. You were my first REAL love. No one can ever take that back. And even though you’ve done nothing but tear me down. I STILL love you. BUT. The shit you’ve done to me. put me through. yelled at me. called me names. spit on me while i was down. ran to the woman who ABORTED your child because she didn’t want to get fat when i AT NO FAULT OF MY OWN MISCARRIED YOURS. ran around comparing me to that cunt. All of it. One act at a time made me fall OUT of love with you.
So right now, I’m being completely honest. Even though I don’t think you deserve my time of day. I’m giving you honesty. Do I love you? Yes. Am I in love with you? Fuck no.
I hate people. I hate people who take advantage of me even more. No one else would put up with your bullshit the way I do. Don’t believe it? TRY ME. Fuck some other girl around like she’s your fucking rubber duck at bath time and hold her under water and lie through your fucking teeth to her and see if she fucking sticks around. Keep talkin to other girls about how you can’t fucking wait to have them in your arms and how you can’t wait to fuck em and how you wish I would just go away. DO IT. Ten million dollars says no other stupid bitch will stay like I have. You wanna bitch that I always nag and complain? HOWS THAT FOR A COMPLAINT YOU ASSHOLE. Keep fucking taking advantage of me. PLEASE. Because I’m more than ready to watch you fall on your fucking ass. I’ve proved to you once that I don’t NEED you and I’m more than willing to show your stupid ass again. So please. FUCKING DO IT. I lost my right to whine about it a while ago. I’m aware of that. But it’s no one’s fault but my own. So call your fucking girlfriend and tell her you’re moving in because I’m DONE with the bullshit. You want trust. You obviously want free pussy. But you’re not getting either. haven’t been getting either one for quite some fuckin time now. And you wanna shit talk ME for having insecurities? YOU ruined love for me. YOU ruined trust for me YOU ruined fidelity and loyalty for me. But this is a thank you. Because now, I know EXACTLY what I don’t fucking want. So suck my fuckin dick and choke bitch.
Im so fuckin torn. Like theres no words to describe how perfectly centered i am on the fine line that distinguishes love from obsessive hate. And theres nothing i can do until i figure out which side the breath if difference is gonna be exhaled heavier on. Which nostril has a larger boogie in it? The one over love or the one over obsessive hatred?
Happy new year. Im so ready to run the fuck away from home its unreal. But not in a way i wouldnt hug my mom first or anything like that.
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